Reminiscing....

It was great seeing my family on Saturday. It made me realize how strong and crazy the women in my family are. My cousin and his girl are having twins. WOW! They're so young too. Just looking at her belly reminded me of my first pregnancy with my daughter. I was an 18 yr old barely graduating from high school when I gave birth to her..... and JABBA. She was a pure blessing while JABBA was my curse. I guess my young body wasn't ready to expand enough for the size of a basketball. It looked like a nasty, wrinkly, deflated balloon. It's sad to be so young and have such a disgusting belly. I knew how to hide it pretty well but I was never able to wear clothing showing any part of my belly. I grew depressed and angry. Felt ugly. It felt like luggage that did not want to leave.

So I've lived with JABBA for 23 years. This unwanted relationship must come to an end. I told some of my family members about the appointment and they are very supportive. 17 days to the consultation. I'm counting the days.

Again, this weight thing is really confusing me. So I guess I'll just measure myself in inches instead. All I know is that after it is done, if I can touch my toes, sit upright and be able to wear pants that can zipper up without my shifting my belly back and forth like a water balloon, then I'm good.

I think I'll be set with my gigs. I notified my gigs about me having to be out for 2 weeks. As long as I can give them enough notice I'll be good. So now I can relax and just focus on my appointment, surgery and recovery. I will keep hoping all turns out well and I can finally get rid of JABBA for good.

Well until next time......

Support.....

I love the fact that I have a wonderful support system. My hubby is now realizing some of it's rewards. He's now excited for me, which is a big turnaround from him worrying about me doing this procedure. I showed him some before and after photos of people with similar body shapes and their results. He keeps saying that my result will be better because of my body shape.... we'll see.

My friends are the greatest. They know how much this means to me. The freedom of not feeling the belly flap up and down as I run down the steps of my house - yuck! Then reality hit me..... if my butt is huge now, OMG it's going to look MASSIVE after the operation! LOL. At least the belly makes my butt look a little smaller than it is. Oh well, the price I pay for tightness.... haha!

This is going to be the LONGEST 3 weeks for me to wait for a consult. It's like waiting for my tax return money - tick tock tick tock....... In the meantime I hope I can shed the 14 lbs of blubber before going in. That'll be nice.

I know that some people are judgmental when it comes to me doing this without losing massive weight first. See I believe that the ideal weight is what a person feels most comfortable, not what another person thinks is good for you. If I weighed 120 lbs would I be happier or would the people around me be happier? I was that weight once and I hated it. I was not happy, feeling mostly depressed and didn't eat much. Always felt weak. Everyone else used to tell me how great I looked but didn't care to see that I was so unhappy. I starved myself back then. I will never do that again. However, I know that as I get older I really need to consider what I eat for my own health. So I believe this is all a wake up call for me. It is about me getting into healthier habits, not weight loss. If I happen to lose weight in the process, so be it. If not, that's okay too.

Well this booty girl needs to get ready for my afternoon with my little princess. She has her dance class and I don't want her to miss it. Then it's off to work tonight to sing to the regulars at my job. Take care all!!!!

The Tummy Monster.

YUCK!!!!! Well this is the first time I've EVER shown my belly. It's like JABBA THE HUT! It's very soft and disgusting and has gotta go! Talk about being EXPOSED... Oh well. Hopefully by next year it'll be a distant memory. For now, I do hide it pretty well, but it'll be nice to finally kiss this unwanted visitor goodbye.

I decided to go through YouTube to check out videos of the procedure again. I also ran into a video of a poor girl that went to Colombia for the operation only to get it fixed in the US when she became physically ill and scarred. I did my research and know my risks. So this is why I am having the procedure done at the hospital and checked for 24 hrs by nurses. I feel confident and safe about doing this. I will need to cut any drinking for at least a month before the procedure. Plus I will need a partner for my gigs because for 2-3 weeks there is no way I can carry any of my equipment or really move around.

Wow, this blogging thing is really fun, exciting and great therapy for me. I don't know who or how many people will be reading this blog but it is for my sense of reality and putting things to perspective. Now all can look at this hunk of lard and make fun.... lol

Til next time....

Lasagna.....

So I decided to put my butt on the newly bought scale and "BAM" just like a thought, 214lbs. Well I guess when you look at the actual numbers that's when it hits you. I think my butt should at least TRY to go down to under 200 lbs so I don't feel like a complete cow. HAHA!

If it doesn't happen I'm still having the operation. This chunk of hanging skin has gotta go!

I'm still trying to build the courage for the "BELLY PIC". I know thought, that if I take the pic that the reality will slap me in the face. So my next blog will include the "tub of lard of a belly".

Dieting is really not my thing, especially that I made a slamming lasagna last night. Lasagna is ALWAYS better the next day! So as I go into the fridge to go for the "yogurt" the lasagna is there in all it's deliciousness speaking to me, "eat me, you know you wanna". I have resisted so far but I know the temptation will prevail and I will be eating it soon enough. I hope it's true that maybe I'm lactose intolerant so I can stop the temptation but I guess today I will learn the hard way.

I'm going for now.... pray for me as I take these pics... urgh!

Getting Ready.....

Ok.... This might be a little "ballzy" for me to create a blog of my tummy tuck, but I thought if I start one then I will need to follow through and finally get it done!


I've wanted a tummy tuck for over 10 years. I decided not to do so with the chance of having one last child in our family. Sure enough, my little on showed up on New Years Day of 2004. Then I realized I had to wait for my baby to be old enough for me to be able to heal properly from the procedure. Well she is 6 yrs old now and I feel that now is the time - now or never. I am 41 years old and as I get older I know that the time for this procedure is fading as time goes on. This will be my first operation. I'm excited, nervous, scared all at the same time. I did a lot of research regarding this operation as well as visited the doctor twice on the possibility of getting it done. You see, I'm not a small built woman. I am over 200 lbs but if you saw me you wouldn't believe it. I've had people tell me I look about 18o lbs. I guess I wear it well. I do have a large butt that can make up for at least 50 lbs of weight. LOL!

So I will be visiting the doctor once again on August 5th. I hope he still tells me I am suitable for the procedure. I just need to raise 1k on my own to make up for the different of the portion care credit did not lend me. Once I can lock down a date I need to notify my gigs to let them know I will not be at work for 2 weeks. This is the hardest part since I only get paid when I work.

I know that it'll be well worth it. I've had to look at this horrible belly for over 20 yrs. I felt that it stole part of my youth. Doing the tummy tuck is NOT for weight reduction. I have no intention on losing weight by operation and I am content with handling my weight. The belly is just beyond what I care to handle or want to look at anymore. I get rashes on the fold. My insurance will not cover my procedure and they think ointments will help. For a person weighing at 217lbs I wear a size 16 pants. It is bizarre but true. So my calculations I might be at most a size 14 after it is done with about 10-14lbs of flesh removed. I guess I carry my weight well.

I know that another part of me doing this is for self esteem. I am tired of the "what a pretty face" comments. It is the "poor thing, she's just a fat ass but a pretty girl". Please, if there is anyone reading this - DO NOT MAKE THESE KIND OF COMMENTS. It's NOT a compliment. And NO, we are not the Purse Girls at the club, holding on to everyone else's purse for them to have a good time; we're there to have a good time too. And to the guys, NO do not ask us about our hot friends, ask them yourself..... ok I know this was out of content but it is MY BLOG, right? Venting is part of the healing process.

My next blog will have the first "belly" pic. I need to grow balls to do this one. I never show my belly to anyone other than my hubby. This is very scary for me so give me time to do this. I know it will have to be done in order to record my progress. Wish me luck! Until then, enjoy your day.....

Tummy Girl 41